Thanksgiving is one of those times where whether your like it or not you're about to spend sometime with some people you probably spend a lot of time avoiding. You get to listen to Grandpa complain, sister snuggle into her boyfriend, boyfriend answer the same questions that he has answered a hundred times, mom slave over the turkey. With some variation it is just about the same in everyones house at that moment.
There is always the person who has that token phrase that they thought up ahead of time. This is their go to phrase to use when attention shifts away from them. The ultimate of these phrases what coined by my sister. 'Have a Trip-ta-fan-tastic Thanksgiving'. Get that little play on words, its like i'm wishing you a happy thanksgiving and making a classic joke about tryptophan in turkeys. Oh man thats rich.
Thanksgiving is a holiday steeped in tradition and uncomfortable situations. Its that time of year, the holidays, where you have to come up with a bunch of shit to put a nice think sugar coating over whatever shit is going on in your life that you do not want to share.
Do I know what the fuck i am going to do with my life. NO! I have been a journalism major, a political science major, a music major, a major of just about everything my school offers. So yes i am the resident 'she will be in school forever' member of my family. This year I had the ultimate plan. I would the shut the question down with no questions asked.
so whats the latest major, my answer - psychology.
No one wants to touch psychology with a fucking ten foot pole. Psychology by nature is scary, psychologists will always find something wrong with you. Even worse are people that are just interested in psychology. These readers of psychology textbooks that feel empowered by it. The type of people that like to diagnose you with shit that they cannot even spell, let alone properly pronounce.
I decided this year lets not just leave it at psychology, lets spice that pot up, lets say i have a five year plan to do psychology, graduate and get my fucking doctorate. Now i'm not just going to be a shrink, i'm going to be a shrink with a prescription pad so if I decide now that you are sick with some mental fuckery your screwed because i am going to recommend you come in for a visit at my office and i will get you on some medication you will be paying out the ass for just to cure you of this embarrassing condition that you didn't even know you had.
Wow, this was perfect, not only would this get me out of talking about my life for the rest of the night, it would probably get me out of talking about my life for the rest of my life. or having to hear what anyone else had to say about their lives, lets face it no one wants to have their head shrunk at a family occasion. What i did not take into account was, I am the queen of the college majors and what my current major is really has to validity to anyone because by the next family occasion i will have a new major and new brilliant and life plan.
so at the end of it all, the biggest hope i have is making this blog work and telling them by christmas that i am a writing that has two people reading my blog on a semi regular basis. because really how fucking cool would that be.
until then, if you read this and your not my sister or mother, follow me comment me that would be swell.
keep on sneezing with open eyes
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